A Weekend of Dead Bodies and Ice Cream

Last weekend Sock Monkey went to see 'Bodyworlds and the Mirror of Time' or The Dead Body Exhibition as I like to call it. So for those of you who don't know what this is here is a brief description:

Right there is a very strange German man called Dr Van Hagens. He always wears a fedora which makes him look even more sinister and mad.

Dr Van Hagens gets hold of dead bodies and 'plastinates' them. This is a bit like something from Star Trek (the 1960's wobbly set version). Plastination is basically sucking all the moisture and fat out of said dead body to stop it rotting and going all mushy. *hmmm a bit like packet soup I suppose*. All this wet stuff is then replaced with silicon rubber and epoxy.

This stuff hardens with gas, light or heat curing, which makes the specimens go rigid. So they 'set', sort of like cement. According to the website "This allows them to be studied and displayed in an engaging way, as seen in the BODY WORLDS exhibitions". ie gawped at.

The bodies are displayed in various interesting poses which show muscle groups, tendons, etc. So we have one playing chess with his head opened to reveal his brain, two men in a rugby tackle, one man is holding his own skin aloft.

Some of the bodies are sliced like ham to show various cross sections.




And there are other exhibits where their circulatory system has been
preserved, like this rabbit.



There was even a plastinated giraffe which was pretty impressive. I won't put a picture the 8 months pregnant woman who has been cut open as this tends to give people the vapours. I like stuff like this but even I thought it was wrong, wrong, wrong to have two of the 'plastinates' exhibited shagging each other.

We had a look around there then went for lunch in Greenwich. I fancied Asian food so we went to a Vietnamese restaurant. Here I had pork belly slowly roasted in what appeared to be compost heap and mulch. And it smelled like toilets. Once we had recovered from our luncheon ordeal we got the boat back to central London.

Next day we went to Ben & Jerry's Sundae on the Common. The common in question being Clapham Common. Basically it was a great big ice cream promotion (but not Dr Van Haagen Daas - heh, heh, heh). There was free ice cream but I couldn't be arsed to queue for it. There were also pantomime cows wandering around for added atmosphere.

Sock Monkey hadn't gone there to stuff up on ice cream though. No, Sock Monkey had gone there to see the bands. The first band were horrible. The second band were called Answering Machine and they were v. good. We approved of them. The third band sounded horribly like U2 who I can't stand.

Then the fourth band were.......Camera Obscura hooray! We were within gobbing distance of them. They played mostly from their new album My Maudlin Career but finished off with Razzle Dazzle Rose from their previous album. They seem to like playing this one as their finale 'cause every time I've seen them (lots) this is what they end with.

Here are some nice pics, of Tracyanne and Carey. None of the boys though. I haven't sucked them out of my camera yet.

We didn't bother staying to see the next band or the headline band, The Human League. By then it was beginning to rain so we trundled off to the Two Brewers for a quick drink. I don't think Sock Monkey and P have been there together before. Not that we have missed much. We just couldn't be arsed to walk the extra 2 minutes down the road to the far preferable Kazbah.

So that was Sock Monkey's weekend. Pickled Medical Specimens, seeing my favourite band play live and some outdoor beers. Very nice.

Duet for One

P took me to see this last Saturday. It is one of the best plays I have ever seen.

Also it stars Juliet Stephenson who is such a wonderful actress. She plays Stephanie Abrahams, a world famous concert violinist who can no longer play after being struck down with Multiple Sclerosis. Her husband, a famous and successful classical composer made an appointment for her to see to see a psychiatrist, Dr Feldman (played by Henry Goodman), to help her work through her emotions and think about a future of being unable to play the music she lives for. The play follows six therapy sessions which they have together in Dr Feldman's consulting rooms, taking us on Stephanie's journey of denial, anger, breakdown and the first step on the long road to rebuilding her shattered life.

First of all I adored the set. It was all dark and moody with sumptuous rugs and a chaise longue, the shelves filled with CDs and objects d'art. The lighting was fantastic too with the different times of day conveyed at the flick of a switch, light flooding through the venetian blinds.

Secondly the script is absolutely amazing. Tom Kempinski has written a powerful and utterly convincing play. The dialogue between the Stephanie and Dr Feldman is completely believable, Goodman's character sounding every inch the psychiatrist. There is some humour, which gives us some respite from the subject matter, but in the main this is a powerful, serious piece of writing.

I particularly point to the dialogue in the opening moments when Stephanie asks Dr Feldman, "Do you know what MS is?" He goes on to reply, "Yes, the nerve endings...." and gives a matter-of-fact description of the physical changes in the body and the results. This sets the scene perfectly for the audience to discard their preconceptions of MS and understand the facts.

In the second act there is one scene which I found particularly uncomfortable to watch as Stephanie had plummeted to the depths of despair. I can't think of a time where I have been at the theatre and could actually feel myself squirm and long for a scene to end: not because it was bad, but because it was too good and it ripped at your emotions.

Obviously, there is no cure for Stephanie's physical degeneration but we do see the beginning of the end of her mental collapse and her acceptance of the situation.This is such a wonderful play. An emotive issue is tackled with intelligent dialogue and the kind of humour you would only experience when faced with such a grim future.


Juliet Stephenson was at her shouty, emotive best. Henry Goodman, who I was not familiar with, was convincing as the professional, appropriately aloof and slightly eccentric Dr Feldman.

The set design was fantastic, as was the lighting and sound. And the final touch which I thought was perfect was that the programme was full with information about MS so you didn't just sit there, watch a play then go home again, you learn something.

One of Our Ducks is Missing

Its more than one actually. Its lots.

Over the last few years the duck population in London has dropped and ducks have been reported M.I.A.

The 'Bird Recorder' (one of the best job titles I have heard of) for Wandsworth and Tooting Common said natural predators were likely to cause population changes. He said: "They can be taken by pike and large carp, herons or foxes." Ahhh but this is not what the London Wildcare Trust thinks. According to them people have been nicking the ducks and eating them. Ted Burden, head of the trust, said: "People are taking them for their own table, or to sell on. They're not taking them to make pets out of them. They're ending up in the cooking pot."

Well I am pleased that during this recession people aren't dropping their standards. No nicking pints of milk and loaves of bread from outside the corner shop at 5am. No resorting to living off the contents of unlabeled and dented tins from the supermarket. No siree. People are refusing to compromise their lifestyle just because a couple of Yankee Banks fucked up on mortgages.

Its crispy aromatic duck time!
*I wonder how the sales of hoisin sauce are looking*

How I wish this show would be staged again

But unfortunately it has been shelved indefinitely. At least I got to see it a few times:

Shockheaded Peter

This is one of the best stage shows I have ever seen.

Never fails to amuse me

This morning I had the following conversation with my manager, David:

Sock Monkey: What time do you want to do the meeting today? Did you say this afternoon?
David: We're going to do it tomorrow instead with **** (our big boss). At two thirty.
Sock Monkey: That's the time you go to the dentist
David (thinking I had an appointment and we'd have to reschedule): Oh no
Sock Monkey (laughing): No...tooth hurty. That's the time you visit the dentist!
David (head in hands): I've lost the will to live

heh

Did you know 'My dog ain't got no nose.....'

Runaway Elephants

Ha HA! See below etching of said runaway elephants mentioned in my previous post. Photographic(ish) proof!

If you click on the image you will make it big and can then read the captions.

Kentish Town

I have been conducting some of my world famous 'research' . This time it was on Kentish Town because P lives there. Here are 3 things I have discovered about this part of North West London:

1. There is a nudist public bath in Kentish Town. Its called 'Rio's'
2. Kentish Town was the site of the 1st train crash in London on 2 September 1861 - 16 died

And thirdly, my favourite fact:

3. Elephants once ran riot in Kentish Town. They escaped from a circus parade and were later found in the basement of a house in Pemberton Gardens.

How the Hell did they get down the stairs?

Apologies for the break in transmission

Sock Monkey has been a very lazy bugger about writing my reports but I've just been so busy! My diary is ridiculous and I don't have a spare weekend until the middle of August. P says she's going to have to chuck me because I'm wearing her out and all the tickets are costing a fortune. I maintain that I simply can't miss anything.

So here is a bullet point list of what Sock Monkey has been up to thank you:

I went to see the Tiger Lilies. Their last show 'The Seven Deadly Sins' was a bit pants but I was pleased to see that they were performing the songs from Shockheaded Peter. I love Shockheaded Peter and have seen it several times. They sang pretty much all of it, including Flying Robert, Bully Boys, Fidgety Phil and Harriet and the Matches. They also sang stuff I hadn't heard before, most notable was the one about the prostitute. And naturally everyone dies in a horrible fashion at the end of every song. Shockheaded Peter has now been shelved and it isn't staged anymore so this was a treat. V. V. Good. Gold star.

Next was an evening out at Frank Sidebottom's Summertime Special at the Lextington (my new favourite venue). Sam and I found this highly entertaining, "Oh yes we did, we really did. We did actually. " He came skipping on stage singing Mungo Jerry's 'In the Summertime' (but naturally the lyrics had to include references to his Mum). P absolutely hated it and spent most of the evening either outside smoking or inside looking unhappy. I was very pleased when he sang 'The Monopoly Board Song', and of course Little Frank was there too.

Slightly less low brow was 'Time and the Conways' at the National Theatre. It had lukewarm reviews but I liked it so there.

Much more excitingly I also saw Antony and the Johnsons! Hooray! How good was he? Bloody amazing thats how much. He played for about 2 hours, much longer than usual and he chatted to the audience a lot which I have not seen him do before.

P and I splurged out on lunch at Gordon Ramsay's new(ish) restaurant The York and Albany and we can report that the food was very nice. The venue itself is lovely. Used to be an old boozer and they done it up laaavley, very light and airy. Its a hotel upstairs too.

I was supposed to go to my friend's book launch but it was on the same night as when I meet my personal trainer so instead of drinking free champagne and eating teeny tiny nibbles I was running around Crystal Palace followed by a man on a bicycle. The reason I didn't re-arrange my training evening is because I ran the Race for Life 4 days later. Two of my workmates and I decided that it would be a splendid idea to run 5,000 metres around Crystal Palace Park, along with 2,000 other people in aid of Cancer Research. On a day when it was 26 degrees. We finished in half an hour, raised £1,000 and deserved our drink in the pub afterwards.

P took me to the 125 Party. This was one of her friend's 50th birthday, her friend's husband's 50th birthday and their wedding anniversary all rolled into one. Hence the 125. God it was swanky.

Now then for those of you who don't have the pleasure of living in London you won't know that we have a giant, purple, upside down cow-shaped theatre on the SouthBank this summer. Udderbelly is a great venue. And outside they have astro-turf and a bar/food area. Its really pleasant. And in this green and purple pleasant land I saw Tina C. Yee Har! I love Tina C. Much more than her alter-ego Dame Ida Barr. Her show this year was called 'Complete and Utter Country'. P and Andrew were laughing so loudly the people in the row in front of us were laughing at them. She didn't sing the song "No Man's Dick is as Hard as my Life' but she did invite us all onto the stage to line dance at the end. We also saw Rhona Cameron there. She was rubbish but we all enjoyed the Pimms before, during and after.

I also sat and watched some opera in the park. The Royal Opera House in Covent Garden are showing live operas on outdoor screens throughout the country. So 3 of us from work went trip-trip-trip billygoats gruff, (armed with a big picnic and wine) down the road to from our office to Canada Square to watch La Traviata. It was a lovely sunny evening. Before the live broadcast started we were able to watch Venus Williams demolish her opponent in the Ladies' Singles Semi-Final of Wimbledon. It was very good - much better than the arse the Met in New York made of showing Faust. The Barber of Seville is the next one in a couple of weeks.

Andrew & Jacques had a most civilised dinner party. Actually it was a very, very funny evening with a good mix of guests. Most enjoyable.

Tonight I'm off to the Vortex for some Jazz. P's friend Lianne Carroll is performing. Tomorrow we are being old gits by going to a matinee. We are seeing 'Duet for One'. Then we have tickets for 'Warhorse' (which is apparently quite difficult to get tickets for). Its P's birthday soon so I am taking her out for the day and for a nice lunch. In Paris. We are also going to Dublin for a long weekend and I'm meeting up with some friends in Brighton in a few weeks. I also have an unusual party to go to. My friend's car, Brad (named after Brad in the Rocky Horror Show) is 30 years old and she is having a surprise party for him. So big ol' barbeque at Angela's. Her parties are always a laugh.

P & I are also going to Ben & Jerry's Sundae on the Common at Clapham - this looks good. There will be a helter skelter, coconut shy, loads of ice cream (what with it being Ben & Jerry's) an herd of pantomime cows and live bands. Guess who is playing? Camera Obscura! hahahahahahaha