Saturday 11 August 2012

London 2012 Olympic Games: Days 5 and 6

Breakfast time at the All England Club

Wimbledon + 5 and 6

Wednesday was Sock Monkey’s day off.  Unfortunately Sock Monkey’s jacket is no longer attached to Sock Monkey’s bag.  Sock Monkey’s jacket is somewhere between Clapham Junction and Gipsy Hill.  Or, more likely, eBay.




So I had to schlep over to Canning Town, to the big warehouse where they keep all the uniforms to collect another one.  I thought it would be deserted and although it was nowhere near as busy as the last time I had been there to be kitted out, they were now giving out the uniforms for those working at the Paralympics and also ‘dignitaries’ (I think this was competitors).

Ol' Rubber Nose
I had to fill out a form explaining how I lost my jacket and what I did to find it.  “The jacket became detached from my bag”. “I contacted Southern Trains lost property who did not have it”.  In actual fact, I asked a station assistant at Clapham Junction the day after I became jacket-less if they had a lost property department. She said no, I would have to go to Waterloo.  I thought “Bugger that” and told her I’d rather go to Canning Town for a new one.

There was another volunteer there whose bag had lost its clip and a girl whose spare trousers not only were the wrong size but they had a hole in them too.

Then I went home and did I clean the bathroom as I intended?  No. I sat on the sofa and watched sport for the rest of the day.


Now then.  Wimbledon +6.  One of the. Best. Days. EVER.

Gate 1 for a change.  It is bigger than our usual Gate 10. Sock Monkey’s job was to stand in the middle of the tent, after the spectators had gone through the metal detector and collected their stuff and make sure they didn’t hang around causing a bottleneck.

I loved doing this!  I got to speak to thousands of people.  I had Americans high fiving me, I had 11 Belgians crowding around me (they were actually a bit intimidating) demanding to know how they could get Centre Court tickets (to see Kim Clijsters). 

Them: “Will people swap?”
Sock Monkey: “I have had lots of people disappointed that they are on Centre instead of Court 1 (Andy Murray was on Court number 1. Twice – singles and mixed doubles).  I’m sure people will swap.
Djokovic
Them: “But here are 11 of us!!”
Sock Monkey (now wanting to get rid of them asap: “Well if you’d just like to go through the exit I’m sure you will be able to find 11 people who will swap.”

Tsonga
When I asked people which court they were on I could not believe how many of them said, ruefully “Centre Court. We wanted Court number 1.”  The order of play on Centre Court was absolutely stonking! Federer, Tsonga, Djokovic, Sharapova, Clijsters.  That is like someone asked, “Who would you like tosee today?” then obliged.  Everyone wanted to see Andy though.

I wish I had worn my pedometer because I must have walked about 5 miles.

After another sumptuous lunch (think prison-meets-school lunch) about 7 of us decided to try to get into Centre Court.  Tim & Lynn are very good at blagging and after trying several gangways we found a sympathetic Games Maker who said, “Take your accreditations off, take your watches off we had uniform watches), hid your bags under your seats and if anyone comes and you’re sitting in their seat – move.”  Apparently they way to get in is to say, “Look at all of those empty seats.”  So Tim, Lynn, Angela and I got in and plonked our behinds down for some Gourmet tennis.

The first match had just finished and the next one was Tsonga v Djokovic.  Then people arrived whose seats had our backsides on so we had to move.  I overheard one of the ladies say, “They are sitting in other people’s seats now!” but then I think she realised that we were Games Makers and didn’t seem to mind at all after that.  In fact, when I started to worry that I was going to get really sunburned and after asking my three companions if they had any sunblock she ver kindly let me use her factor 50.  If I had had to have left court I wouldn’t  have got back in. After this was Federer v Isner.  Sock Monkey does not like Federer at all but had never seen ol’ rubber nose before and so this match completed my set of seeing everyone else.  

Maria Sharapova
Kim Clijsters
The final match was Kim Clijsters v Maria Sharapova.  I had never seen Kim either and was really pleased to get into the court as she is retiring after the Olympics (or the US Open – one or the other).  Lynn and Angela left before the start of this match so Tim and I watched the first set then went to sit on The Hill with a pint and watch some more tennis action on the big screen.   

Sock Monkey had never been in Centre Court before so today was splendid thank-you-very-much.


Wednesday 1 August 2012

London 2012 Olympic Games: Day 4


Was that a spot of rain? Again.  We can also get ponchos.
Nice, aren't they?
Wimbledon +4

“The Dream Team” as our supervisor, Ruth, calls us were deployed to Gate 1 again today.  Our colleagues for the day was G4 Security again.

Sock Monkey was deployed as a pacer for the first hour (this means getting people through the metal detector swiftly and effectively – with no bunches of queues).  My two G4 tray loaders weren’t exactly the friendliest people ever to the spectators so I tried my best to be as friendly as possible to make up for it.

Yesterday was a bit of a dull day with quite a lot of drizzly extra-wet rain.  When we were rotated round I was put outside to help move the queue around the tents and inside.  This involves sending the people along the line and into the various x-ray/metal detector lanes and preparing them for security.

So….the number of times I said, “Good morning, Welcome to security! Please make sure you have no coins, keys, mobile phones in your pockets.  You will need to remove your jackets, belts and wristwatches.  And no liquids, please.”

Sock Monkey always likes to chat to the spectators so I ask them if they are looking forward to their day, I ask them which court they are on (then I ask them if they know the order of play and if they don’t I tell them), I ask them if they have waited long or where they have travelled from or which player they want to see.

A LOVELY lady gave me a big hug when I told her who was on Centre Court: Venus Williams, Andy Murray, Roddick against Djokovick and Laura Robson V Shapapova.  She got really excited and skipped off.  Unfortunately she was on Court Number 1.  Ooops a daisy but she wold have seen Tsonga involved in the longest tennis match in Olympic history.

I had three nasty people.  An elderly couple had a right moan about the security.  The woman started jumping up and down declaring, “Well I think all of this security is absolutely ridiculous!!!!”  I though she was joking then I realized she wasn’t.  Then her husband stood at the metal detector like a horse refusing a jump.  He moaned that he always set it off.  I thought I was going to have to put my foot on his backside and shove him through.  They were exactly like the people who used to write into ‘Points of View’ with Barry Took and say, “Why, oh why, oh why, oh why, BBC” and sign it off  ‘Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells).  Phone me and I wil let you know exactly how I would like to describe them but not in writing.

Then there was a really horrible man who had a right go at me about the security, it was ridiculous, it was unnecessary, the army were much faster the G4, it takes less time to get into the other venues.  I told him I had been with the army and they were the same and I also said it ws required.  When he started blustering that it wasn’t I just ignored him and asked him to “go through please to my colleague who will get you through.”

The next group of people were much nicer and called the Games Makers “Unsung Heroes”.  They asked me if we get to see any tennis and were making jokes about  being Scottish.

I always like to tell the ladies in the queue that “I’m sorry but you have G4.  If you want to move to Gate 10 you’ll get the Royal Marine Commandos, the Paras and the Navy.”  And if its raining I always say, “I’m sorry about the weather.”

Most people are nice, though.

After we were stood down I went to our beautiful canteen and had a cup of tea whilst a few other people had lunch (I had already had my lunch break – sausages containing God-knows-what).  I was absolutely knackered and couldn’t bear going to East London to get a replacement jacket so two of us had a little wander then went home.  It was raining anyway so there was hardly any play off Centre Court.

I didn’t see any matches but I did see Andy Roddick leaving the practice courts.

However some of my team got to man the VIP security gate and they were saying, “Oh I say so-and-so and so-and-so and him and her…”Hmph.

Day off to day so I went to get a new jacket.

We have decided that we will attempt to collect all the confiscated booze and have a wrap party on ‘The Hill’ and watch the finals on the big screen.

Monday 30 July 2012

London 2012 Olympic Games: Day 3


Some of the Venue Entry Security Team
Sock Monkey’s not going to say a lot about yesterday.  Sock Monkey didn’t have a lovely time.  It absolutely poured down.  It was like a biblical plague.  Play was suspended until God-knows-when.  I was again with the Royal Marine Commandos, The Paras and The Navy. We has Venue and Serena Williams' mum in our area.  Someone else had Bill Gates in theirs.  Lots of volunteers were kicked out of the staff meal area because Michelle Obama turned up.





8.30 this morning.  A nice cup of tea before the gates opened
My goodness the  military personnel on my lane were grumpy.  They were in charge yesterday and didn’t they let you know it.  “Faster!” “Slower” “Tell them to take their belts off!!!!”  Me: “I did.”  I got home to Sock Monkey Mansions last night pissed off, annoyed and upset.  If today had been like yesterday there wouldn’t have been a tomorrow as Sock Monkey a Games Maker.  Sock Monkey didn’t volunteer my summer holidays UNPAID to be moaned at for 3 solid hours by the army.  If I had I would have joined up years ago.

A lot of the military have ad their leave cancelled to cover G4 Security’s fuck up but it isn’t my fault. I talked to a nice female squaddie at lunch who was just about to be deployed to Afghanistan so they really could do with being at home.


Some of the ticket holders weren’t having a nice time either.  It was BUCKETING and freezing cold.  I had one stroppy Kevin the Teenager type who became all arsey when I asked, “Do you have any liquids in your bag?”  Its airport security to get into all of the venues and he had about 6 x 500ml bottles of water in his bag. He had a massive strop then still tried to get through the metal detector with a bottle of lucozade in his sweaty, teenage paw.

This is how busy we are.  At Gate 10 Wimbledon, my home for yesterday, we cleared 3,000 people through security in 12 minutes.  I doubted that was possible in the laws of physics but that’s what my supervisor said.


Venus Williams
Anyway.  Today was fantastic!  We were amalgamated with another security tea, and were sent to Gate 1.  They had had a bit of a nightmare the day before but apparently we are the Dream Team and we got them all in.  Today I was doing ‘pacing’ with G4S.  That means I get people through the metal detectors asap.  Four and a half hours later, at 1pm,  I was on my lunch break with another girl after we were “Stood Down” for the rest of the day.  Hideous lunch (food is so vile I have lost 2 lbs in 3 days *thimbs up*) followed by free tennis!  Hooray!
Elena Baltacha
We went to see Venus Williams on Court 2. It was so sweet, she said she has never seen live tennis until today.  Then we bumped into another of our team and we went to see Heather Watson on Court 17 (she beat a Spanish player called Soler).  Then we wandered to Court 18 (we weren't actually IN Court 18, we were on the balcony because it was P.A.C.K.E.D after Laura Robson’s match). American readers, these are our Team GB Ladies.  We left after Elena Baltacha (Team GB but actually a Scot/Russian mix) had lost the first set.

The weather was glorious today, the spectators were smiley happy and today was good.

Shame I lost my jacket on the way home (it folds up like a kagoule and clips onto your bag and mine kept dropping off.  I think it is somewhere around Clapham Junction so now I have to schlep back to Canning Town to get another on my day off on Wednesday.  Hope it doesn’t rain or is cold tomorrow because I’ll have an uncomfortable day that’s for sure).


One lady said to me, "Its so organised. Everyone is so friendly.  I'm going to tell the BBC!"  Another lady told me, "I was at the Sydney Olympics and this is better!"


More tennis, Sock Monkey?  Oh yes please!


London 2012 – GET IN!

I really need to figure how to rotate images in Blogger...

Saturday 28 July 2012

London 2012 Olympic Games: Day 1


Sock Monkey’s first day as a London 2012 Games Maker!  Dragging my carcass out of bed at 6am on a Saturday was fun. Sock Monkey normally gets up at 8am.

Venue Entry Security
After attiring myself in the lovely uniform and shoving some bran flakes down my gullet I popped into the local caff at the end of my road for a take away cup of tea where the man who works there almost had his eyes popping out at the sight of me.  A pretty easy journey to Wimbledon and an hour later I was standing in a nice long queue to get into ‘Fort Apache’ to go through security screening. 

I bumped into two of my team and we wandered over to the rendezvous spot where our the head high honcho security lady was having a briefing with the team leaders.  She told us to go and have a cup of tea and come back later.

On my way into Fort Apache I could see Court 18 which was being strimmed and then we spotted Centre Court on the big screen.  This was being mowed half an hour before the gates opened!  And the masses of dancers were being given their final instructions, the last of which was “Sit down and pretend to be a member of the public so we could only assume they were some sort of flash mob.


Being the first day it was all somewhat random.  We had only really just been allocated our Team Leaders and were having our first briefing when the announcement “Open the gates” came over the tannoy.  Loud and clear!  We were at the opposite end of the grounds from Gate 10 (our new home for the next 4 hours).  Our job is to get people through the gates!
 
Our Pack Leader, Ruth, said that we would be winging it today as it was day 1 but our main objective was to “Get them all in as soon as possible so we can all go and watch some tennis.”  Like it!

Sock Monkey stood at the x-ray machine for, “Good morning.  How are you? Make sure you have nothing in your pockets” four hours.  We were accompanied by Royal Marine Commandoes, the Parachute Regement and the Navy.  We felt very save with the big burly squaddies.  One of them asked me why on earth anyone would want to volunteer to do this.

Some of the general public were stu-pid.  Like the woman who proceeded to take Every. Single. Thing. Out of her bag and dump it in the tray.  And the man who, just as he was about to walk through the metal detector asked me if having his wallet and mobile phone in his pocket was OK.

Delicious!  Its all that was left
Once everyone had arrived, eventually – God there were thousands of them – we had our lunch break.  We were taken into the bowels of the building next to Centre Court.  Down a ramp by the side of the building, past the bins, through a delightful access tunnel to the Ball Boy rest room.  Where they had no hot food left.  We decided to decamp and go to the main restaurant only to be told that secturity (ie US) weren’t allowed to ‘dine’ in there.  We traipsed back to the tunnel for some slops and were told that we had been ‘Stood down’.  Hooray! Free tennis for us!
David Ferer

Andy Murray (a bit sideways)
Four of us went to Court 18 and saw David Ferrer and Felipop Lopaz beat some Poles.  Then we went to Court 2 to see the end of Li Na and Hutchenova’s match before Andy and Jamie Murray’s doubles match agaist Jurgen Metzer and his partner.  Towards the end of the first set all the volunteers (in uniform) were kicked out for the paying punters so I had to leave.  My three new friends had changed their tops so they could stay. Guess what Sock Monkey s shoving in the bag tomorrow a change of t-shirt.

I got back home (someone standing outside my flats “Are you in the Olympics?” duh can’t you seeeee what I’m wearing?) and watched the Murray brothers lose.
 
Today was fun!  Brilliant atmosphere and I don’t even mind walking around in public wearing my uniform. 

Friday 27 July 2012

London 2012 Olympic Games: at T-Minus 7 Days

Sock Monkey had a little trip to The All England Club last Saturday.  Also known as 'The Championships".  Better known as Wimbledon.


I was there to carry out my Venue Specific Training because Sock Monkey will be part of the security team at the tennis competition at the Olympics.

Once I eventually found the mythical Gate 20 (it said "Car Park" on entrance) I went through the security checks (in what they have nicknamed "Fort Apache") and was directed to a hospitality suite above Centre Court.  There were hundreds of us.


After a cup of tea and a biscuit we were shown the inspiring film they have shown us at every training event.  It still brings a lump to the throat.  Then we were addressed by the general manager, Kelly and the sports manager Clare.  They told us about how they have fixed the grass so quickly after The Championships a mere 3 weeks ago, they told us Olympic Tennis facts (such as the last winner of the mixed doubles was a survivor from the Titanic - its that long since mixed doubles were played at the Olympics).  They also told us how every bit of internal communications has had to be ripped out and replaced so that it is the same as the other venues. We were also given a map and shown where the staff restaurant is, the entrance gates and where we have to send people if, God forbid, the place has to be evacuated, the security announcements (I'm saying nothing about those). Then we had our guided tour.  The place was crawling with soldiers and sniffer dogs.








                  My superviser, Clare above (left)


The first place they took us to was Centre Court.  Sock Monkey has never been to Centre Court before so naturally I was thrilled.  "Don't touch the grass!"  We were that close.  They took us there first because we don't have access to the field of play and were told, "We knew you'd want to sneak in".


The grounds were in full flow of being transformed from The Championships to the Olympic Games with the Olympic livery everywhere and the Rolex clocks all covered up.  Rolex doesn't sponsor the Olympic Games.  You can't buy Pimms at the Olympics because they aren't a sponsor either.  You can buy a 'Fruit Cup' though...


We walked all around the ground twice, being shown everything we need to know.  Sock Monkey has been to Wimbledon three times before so it was funny to see the place empty apart from staff, army and volunteers.

      








It was a brilliant way to spend a Saturday afternoon and I got really enthused and excited.  This was the first time.  For the last few months I've been thinking that volunteering was a stupid idea.


On my way home I actually felt a bit proud to be wearing my accreditation (ie security pass - I wouldn't have got into the grounds without it).


So Saturday 28 July 2012 (tomorrow!) I shall be meeting and greeting the spectators.  Need to leave home two hours before a Sock Monkey normally arises so that will be fun!  


Game, set and Match!

Sunday 1 July 2012

London 2012 Olympic Games: T minus 27 Days



Sock Monkey has been selected as a "London 2012 Games Maker", ie volunteer.  Reach for your life jacket and safety net now because Sock Money will be representing The United Kingdom and how fantastic we are.  Sock Monkey will be checking tickets and saying, "You can't take that in" for a week at Wimbledon.

Sock Monkey spent an hour and a half yesterday collecting the [charming] uniform.  Over the last few weeks I've seen various people wearing this in public and every single one of them has looked like they are on day release from the local lunatic asylum.  I half expected Donald Sutherland to be bringing up the rear shouting, "The Evil has left this place!" so I was extremely relieved to find that I don't look like a total retard in my uniform (although I refuse to wear that hideous jacket or the baseball cap). 

Sock Monkey never posts photographs on here so this is a first.  Sock Monkey may still hit 'delete' at a later date. Picture caption 'Sock Monkey modeling London 2012 Games Maker Uniform'.  We got socks and everything...

However, when I saw scores of people in the same place, all dressed the same (ie like that *points to top left hand corner*) it was pretty impressive and a little bit exciting.  And I chatted to lots of lovely people who were all so motivated and enthusiastic.  Sock Money would also like to point out that none of us are thrilled with the uniform.

Almost 250,000 people volunteered to help and Sock Monkey was one of the 70,000 chosen so, and I am beginning to think it may have been a bad idea, I shall be spending my summer holidays telling tourists where the toilets are and searching people's bags at Wimbledon.

Sock Monkey loves tennis so I'm pretty disappointed to find that I don't have security clearance for the actual courts but I will be able to wander around the grounds (dressed like this) when I'm not on duty.

I've had a couple of training sessions and now have just one left where I will be taught how to carry out the security checks - its the same as at an airport .  This takes place at the All England Club (AKA Wimbledon) soon.

We have to be "The best Games Makes we can be" so that means being consistently nice to complete strangers even if they ask idiotic questions or are obnoxious.  If we aren't, people will go home to wherever and tell their friends, "People in London are horrible."  Sock Monkey could single-handedly screw up the entire Olympic Games!

The most exciting part, though, and I really am very excited about this, is that we have all been invited to the technical rehearsal for the opening ceremony. I am so looking forward to this and its lovely that the volunteers have been given the opportunity to attend.

Sock Monkey shall report from the Olympics but don't expect any insider information or gossip about the competitors.  It aint allowed and I don't want to end up in The Tower.



Wednesday 16 March 2011

New Boots (but not panties)

Look!

Look what Sock Monkey has found!

A betting shop has come up with an ingenious way to get themselves extry publicity by marking the start of the Cheltenham Festival by commissioning what they charmingly call "Horse Hoof Boots".

Retailing at £1,300 - yes that's THIRTEEN HUNDRED QUID - they are a limited edition (well I never) with proceeds going to charity. They also have models clip-clopping around the racecourse grounds wearing said footwear.

They are made out of real horse hair but have pretend hoof. Personally Sock Monkey thinks it would have been far less faff to just saw off the horses legs, scoop out the juice and stick a pair of high heels on them.

I'd wear them. I'd love to get a pair! I used to have a pair of spotted pony skin shoes. Oh I loved those shoes! If I had a pair of Horse Hoof Boots I'd trip-trip-trip around like a Billygoats Gruff or pretend to be Mr Tumnus when I'm at the shops. Unfortunately I cannot have a pair because:

a) Sock Monkey can't walk in high heels. I look like a drag queen. Not a proper drag queen you understand because they can walk in heels. I mean drag a la Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis in Some Like it Hot.

b) Sock Monkey has been given strict instructions not to buy a pair. Sternly written. In capital letters.

c) Thirteen hundred quid. Come off it. If I had thirteen hundred quid to chuck away on a pair of boots I'd be going to India on me 'olidays like what I wanted to do