TicketsTicketsTickets

Sock Monkey has been very busy buying theatre tickets.

After my huge disappointment about completely missing the fact that the B52's were in London and by the time I noticed it had sold out, Sock Monkey went on a bit of a ticket buying binge yesterday.

So here's what I'll be seeing:

P & I already had tickets for Miss Behave's Variety Nighty at the Roundhouse. I am v excited about this. For a start she looks completely barmy and also does sword swallowing (in a recent interview she said that when she started she accidently shoved the sword in all wrong and had internal bleeding). She really swallows swords! There a variety of guests performing with her, such as Lucifire (who I missed at Latitude last year) and Kali Hula Girl
I love things like this so I can hardly wait.

I had already booked tickets to see Matthew Bourne's new production, 'The Picture of Dorian Gray' at Sadler's Wells. Have seen his version of The Nutcracker, the all male Swan Lake and The Car Man which were all great so I have high expectations of this.

Then yesterday I was most excited to discover that Robert Lepage has a new show on at the Barbican. Robert Lepage is a bloody genious. I first saw his play 'Tectonic Plates' at the Tramway in Glasgow in 1990 and had never seen anything like it in my life. Then I saw 'Polygraph' and finally 'The Seven Streams of the River Ota' . He made 'Polygraph' into a film but I enjoyed the stage show much more as it just seemed a whole lot more clever.

His new show is called 'Lipsynch' and according to the Barbican website:

"This latest ensemble work... is an epic panorama linking nine lives spanning seven decades, and spinning stories that are surprising, funny and moving.

"As we are taken on a nine-hour journey, we stop off between war-torn Vienna, pre-revolutionary Nicaragua and present day London, encountering people who have lost the power of speech and people for whom speech is the only lifeline.

"A dubbing studio to the world of vocal forensics, Lipsynch follows a cluster of interwoven destinies, where each voice is searching for its own identity."

"As we are taken on a nine-hour journey" - yep it is 9 earth hours long (including 4 intervals and a meal break). We'll need to wear flight stockings to ward off DVT and take a packed lunch.

Then, I bought some tickets to see Camera Obscura again. They are playing in September and they were so good when we saw them last week that I can't wait for this either.


Now Sock Monkey is not entirely certain that I'll be able to get to this show but for goodness sake Martha Reeves and the Vandellas are playing at the Jazz Cafe in a couple of weeks! Followed by a Northern Soul Club Night. I mean - Good Lord you can't miss this. Unfortunately P will be Edinburgh Festivalling, Sam shall be spending the day clay pigeon shooting (as you do - not sure she should be allowed near any firearms...) and I can't think of anyone else who would be remotely interested in coming so I'll just need to perambulate up to North London and dance like a twat on me own.

Before I start my proper job I have 2 weeks off so am going up to Scotland to visit my sister & brother-in-law. They live on a smallholding and have horses, a pony an alsation and mud. Much mud. When I went last year it took approximately 5 minutes from stepping out of my sister's car to being splattered with mud. Then she made me dig potatoes. I sawed logs as well but was absolutely crap at it. Don't have the farmer's wife biceps.

This year I have insisted that we go to Surgeon's Hall Museum in Edinburgh. We didn't have time last year and I neeeeed to see the medical specimens. Sock Monkey has been to The Royal College of Surgeons Medical Museum in London a couple of times and loved it but was extremely disappointed to find on my last visit that the Siamese Twins in a jar had been removed!

I have also instructed my sister to plan lots of activities and to please make me a madeira cake. Last year was great fun so I'm looking forward to spending 5 days in the countryside again with my big sis.

Have in the last few weeks been to my first Hen Night (hideous evidence here), been to a wedding party (congratulations Lisa & Dave), been to see Jonny Woo at the Soho Theatre, met Andrew last Sunday and had a very nice afternoon thank you (spent the time mainly mocking people), it is Lynn's birthday party next weekend. Fancy dress. The theme is dress as something beginning with 'L'. There is luncheon of Dim Sum planned with The Girls (before Mable has her baby and won't be able to go out again for about 20 years)

So all in all it looks like a busy and great fun Summer for Sock Monkey. Probably a rather expensive one too!

Then we have to decide on a destination for New Year. P fancies Madrid, I am erring towards Barcelona...

Food Dangers

Following on from "Rather Unfortunate Lamb Shank Injury"
and the 'Cannelloni Injury", Sock Monkey has sustained yet another tomato-based food injury.

After making a huge steaming vat of bolognaise sauce last night, Sock Monkey attempted to pour some of it into a bowl. However, Sock Monkey's pans are bloody heavy. They are made out of copper & steel and weigh a tonne even when they are empty. So holding the pan with one hand whist trying to ladle the molten larva tomato & beef concoction with the other was a bit difficult and, after much wobbly-ness of hand, a huge dollop of it splattered down the kitchen cupboard and all over my foot. My bare foot. Ooch indeed.

I couldn't be arsed to run my paw under the tap for God-knows how long so I just wrapped a tea towel dripping with cold water around my injury and hobbled off to sit down and scoff my dinner and watch a documentary.

I did look a bit like a someone suffering from trench foot or something but at least, for once, I didn't burn the inside of my mouth to smithereens as well. Like I usually do. I find pizzas can be particularly dangerous.

There is nothing I can add about the title of this book...

Camera Obscura

Sock Monkey and P went to see Camera Obscura last Thursday at King's College Student's Union and my they were good.

I only discovered them about 3 years ago but they have become one of my most favourite bands in that short time. They don't play in the UK very often so I was particularly pleased to get to see them. Its the first time I have been in a student union bar since 1993 when I was a student and I must say the price of subsidised beer isn't as cheap as it used to be! Also it is a bugger to find. Please note KCLSU your website is worse than useless for getting directions from.

We arrived as the first support band were on. They were pretty good and were entertaining to watch. The second support band weren't so great. I have no idea the name of either of these bands! It is nice to see a band in a small venue like this rather than something like Wembley or O2 which are just too bloomin' big, expensive and a pain to get home from.

Then hooray! on came Camera Obscura who were simply in a different league. They played quite a few tracks from their most recent album 'Let's get Out of This Country' including a firm favourite of mine: 'Lloyd, I'm Ready to be Heartbroken' and 'Come Back Margaret'.

In fact, they managed to cram a lot into their alotted hour, even given that TracyAnne was most embarrassed at having to take valuable time out to tune one of her guitars.

Camera Obscura are fantastic musicians and TracyAnne has a fabulous voice. You can tell from their polished and professional performance that they have been together for 10 years. The only disappointment was that they didn't play my very besty-fave song of theirs, 'Suspended From Class' from their second album 'Underachievers Please try Harder' but I am planning to see them at A Fist Full of Fandango in September so hopefully they'll play it then.

And I do like their album covers. 'Underachievers Please Try Harder' above is one of my all time favourites.

More Stupid Pubilshing Things

Further to my occasional series 'Books with Stupid Titles' I have decided to have another occasional series entitled 'Idiot Printers'. (and I have one particular printer in mind at the moment as well).

This is the more or less exact wording of an enclosure note I received in a parcel today (obviously my real name isn't Sock Monkey):

"Dear Sock Monkey

Please kindly find the enclosed thing for your reference

Regards,
Stupid Printer

'Thing'?? Why thank you. That was most helpful and informative.

I suppose I should be glad they actually bothered to put a letter in the parcel at all - they normally just send stuff and not bother to say what it is or what it is for.

And you should see the emails we get. The Engish is so bad I assumed it was from a Chinese person. But oh no she is English, based in the UK.

Back in the Land of Proper Employment

Sock Monkey has only gone and got a proper job! I won't know what has hit me come 20 August when I start.

For the last year Sock Monkey has been working freelance and having a very nice time, thank you very much. I have been skipping from job to job, where people are so glad to see an extra pair of hands that they treat you like royalty (well except for C&B but they are horrid to everyone), you get paid handsomly and in all of the jobs I've had this past year I've had next to nothing to do. In one of them I constantly ran out of things to Google. There's now nothing I don't know about Margaret Rutherford or Hattie Jacques thanks to having 8 hours a day at a computer and next to nothing to do after about 10am every morning.

Its been like a little holiday-ette. With pay.

Now I've joined the real world again. Proper job, 5 days per week, back to production meetings and office politics. And all for a really rubbish salary! Hooray for publishing!

However, my new employer seems very nice, it had a great atmosphere and we do nice books. And the location is easy for me to get to. The only downside is that I am going to be extremely skint and may possibly have to become a freegan in order to eat (that is rummage through bins looking for scraps). But you can't have everything!