Some Men Give the Rest a Bad Name

So last night I am on a packed, humid tube. Inside the carriage there are two rows of 3 seats facing each other and a space one either side for luggage or to stand. EVERY one of these seats had the arse of an able bodied man aged between 30s and 40s stuck to it. A woman in her early 30s got on and she was holding a baby who looked about 4 months old. She looked like she had probably gone to her office to show her new baby to her colleagues for the first time. There was nowhere to sit so she had to stand holding the baby and try her best to not fall over seeing as she couldn't hold onto anything. You know what with having armfuls of baby and all. Did any of these lazy selfish bastards give her their seat? Did they fuck. Did they notice her, it was pretty crowded? Yes. Each and every one of them looked at her then looked away. One of the selfish lazy bastards actually kept looking at her. I felt like shouting "Give her a seat you bastards!" but thought better of it. Best of it was that almost all of these men were only going two stops to London Bridge so it wouldn't have been a great hardship to give up their seat like any decent human being would have. Bastards. I hope they all break their leg and have to stand on the tube because no-one gives a shit if they are less able to stand what with being on crutches. Sometimes I hate men. On a much happier note though I read this on the BBC website today:

"A Greek woman accused of setting fire to the genitals of a British tourist in Crete is due to appear in court."

Sorry come again?? Why on earth did she do that?

"The woman admitted assault after dousing the man's private parts in alcohol and igniting them, but says she did so after being sexually harassed."

Ok so he was perving at her but really - set fire to his bollocks was that really necessary. And anyway how did she manage to get sambuca on them om the first place?

"Police on the Greek island say the tourist was drunk and had waved his genitals at several girls before allegedly groping the suspect. The man suffered second degree burns and is recovering in a private clinic. The 26-year-old suspect handed herself over to police, claiming she had acted in self defence."

Ah so he was waving them around in a nightclub. I'll bet he was shouting 'Eer girls want some ov that?" Serves him right then. But the Greeks must think she was a bit over the top though.

"She has won praise on Crete for what has been seen as defending her honour.

According to police the 23-year-old tourist was drunk when he dropped his trousers in a nightclub in the resort of Malia.

The suspect, who has not been named, said she doused the man in Sambuca and torched him after she asked him to stop harassing her and he failed to stop.

The case has been widely discussed on Greek television, and there has been precious little sympathy for the young Briton, said our correspondent.

He added that many Greeks are sickened by British bad behaviour in Malia and other resorts."

Good for her. If I'd been out with my friends and had had some pissed up tourist repeatedly waving his cock at us I'd like to think one my mates would do the same thing.

left: an artist's impression of said incident