Don't get out much then love?

Sock Monkey has been nagged by so, so, so many people about the utter lack of updates but I never have the time to write anything! So quickly then before I get spotted...

Last Saturday afternoon Sock Monkey was on the tube. Two women were sitting across from me: one was about 60 years old, the other was about 50. They were discussing in extremely broad Glaswegian accents how to get the Leicester Square. Bear in mind that at this point we were on the northbound Northern Line from Balham (non-London people: its a straight line from Balham to Leicester square on the Northbound Northern Line...)

Eventually the older lady asked the guy beside her, "Excuse me does this train go to Leicester Square?" He looked at her as if she was speaking in Martian so I can only assume that:

a) he didn't speak English
b) he couldn't understand a word she was saying
c) he didn't have a clue where he was going either

Anyway he grunted at her then got off at the next stop. Being extremely helpful I leaned over and said, "You need to change at Kennington and get the other branch of the Northern Line. I'm going there so I'll show you."

See - how helpful am I?

We all got off the train at the correct station, changed trains and continued to Leicester Square. I had noticed that they had theatre tickets for a matinee showing of Jersey Boys. So I asked them, "Do you know where you are going when you get there?"

Of course they didn't so I said that I'd show them where the theatre was. The older lady chuckled to her friend, "All these years I've lived in London and I've never been to Leicester Square."

I beg your pardon?? I looked at her sideways and asked,"How long have you lived in London?"
She laughed and said, "Ages. Since 1968."

Nineteen-sixty-bloomin'-eight????

She has lived in London almost the same amount of time that Sock Monkey has been alive and has never been to somewhere so utterly slap-bang in the middle of the West End that I can't bear to set foot in it!!

Managing not to gasp I asked, "How can you have lived here for over 40 years and have not been to Leicester Square? Where do you live in London?" I was assuming that she would say somewhere so back of beyond that the postcodes are all funny. "Battersea", came her reply.

For those of you who don't know London you could walk from Battersea to Leicester square (if you really wanted to). Its about 3 or 4 miles.

On our short walk from the tube station to the theatre she said, "Oh look there's China Town" and her friend asked her if she had ever seen Buckingham Palace. "Only on the telly," came the reply. Really most taken aback I mentioned that I had thought that they were visiting London for the weekend. Note the following clues:

a) Bloody strong Glaswegian accents (and I can tell one when I hear one)
b) Not having a bleeding clue how the tube works. It's not exactly difficult. They made all the lines different colours on the map so that people who can't read could find their way around
c) They had matinee tickets for a musical

They just laughed and told me that their sons had bought them the tickets for Mother's Day.

When Sock Monkey was in Australia I met of number of quite charming people (is the sarcasm dripping off the page at this point?) who kindly said, "Why would I want a passport? I've never been out of Queensland. Wouldn't want to." But honestly, never going further than about a 3 mile radius from your house in 43 years is a bit much. Unless you are under house arrest.