Look!Look what Sock Monkey has found!
A betting shop has come up with an ingenious way to get themselves extry publicity by marking the start of the Cheltenham Festival by commissioning what they charmingly call "Horse Hoof Boots".
Retailing at £1,300 - yes that's THIRTEEN HUNDRED QUID - they are a limited edition (well I never) with proceeds going to charity. They also have models clip-clopping around the racecourse grounds wearing said footwear.
They are made out of real horse hair but have pretend hoof. Personally Sock Monkey thinks it would have been far less faff to just saw off the horses legs, scoop out the juice and stick a pair of high heels on them.
I'd wear them. I'd love to get a pair! I used to have a pair of spotted pony skin shoes. Oh I loved those shoes! If I had a pair of Horse Hoof Boots I'd trip-trip-trip around like a Billygoats Gruff or pretend to be Mr Tumnus when I'm at the shops. Unfortunately I cannot have a pair because:
a) Sock Monkey can't walk in high heels. I look like a drag queen. Not a proper drag queen you understand because they can walk in heels. I mean drag a la Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis in Some Like it Hot.
b) Sock Monkey has been given strict instructions not to buy a pair. Sternly written. In capital letters.
c) Thirteen hundred quid. Come off it. If I had thirteen hundred quid to chuck away on a pair of boots I'd be going to India on me 'olidays like what I wanted to do
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